Can't Count On Me
by ShadowsOnTheMoon
Summary: Now that Spencer knows who -A is, how is she going to keep that to herself? Who will she have to become in order to survive, in order to keep her friends safe? Keep your friends close... but remember that your enemies are even closer. [Sequel to 'Get Good'.]
1. New Me

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

_It won't come off._

_There is blood on her hands, and no matter how hard she scrubs, she can't get rid of all of it. It's caught under her nails, smeared across her palms. She holds a sponge in one hand, caked with dirt; in her other hand is a knife, slightly dented and stained with the same blood that's spread across her hands._

_She turns the tap on, waiting for the water to heat up. Then she rests the knife on the bathroom sink, shoves the sponge under the running water, and starts scrubbing her hands with it._

_The hot water burns, and she bites her tongue to stop herself crying out. She keeps scrubbing, vigorously, furiously, desperately._

_It takes a minute for her to realise that the blood swirling in the sink isn't the same as that on her hands. She's scrubbed so hard that she's made herself bleed. Slowly she turns the tap off, drops the sponge, and then stands there in front of the sink letting her raw skin sting and the tears start to fall down her face._

_There's a knock at the door. Before she has time to react, someone steps into the room._

_"Spencer?"_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

**Three days earlier.**

Spencer closes her locker, then leans forward and rests her head against it. She probably only has a few more minutes before –

"There you are!"

She opens her eyes and wearily turns her attention to her friends. Emily is leaning against the locker beside her, Hanna has her arms folded like she's disapproving, and Aria is standing there with her head high like nothing even happened. Spencer wants to slap her.

"How are you?" Aria asks cautiously, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"I'm great," Spencer says, correctly interpreting her unspoken message: _Don't tell them_.

"Spence, you don't have to lie to us," Emily says. "We're your friends. We want to help."

"I think I've had just as much help as I can handle." Spencer slings her bag over her shoulder, flashes them a grimace that passes for a smile, and says, "I'm late for class. I'll see you guys at lunch."

She walks down the hall without looking back, hugging her textbooks to her like a lifesaver. All she has to do is get through today. One step after another. Deep breaths. She reaches her classroom and slides into a chair at the back of the room, letting her hair fall over her face. Better not to make eye contact with anyone.

She's been out of Radley since Sunday. After her conversation with Aria and Mona at the resort she'd gone back, just in time for morning rounds. Nobody had known she was gone. She'd managed to talk her way through the next couple of days of therapy and convinced the therapist that she was recovering. She was still meant to have weekly sessions with her, but apparently she was 'out of the woods' now. What they meant was that she wasn't at risk of suicide, but the expression amused her. She still felt like she was trapped deeply in the woods.

When the bell rings at the end of class she sits for as long as she can, waiting for the rush of people to subside. She doesn't want to have to talk to anyone. She doesn't want to be around anyone. She wants to be alone.

She's just gathering her belongings when a figure appears in the door.

"Hey Spencer!" Mona says brightly. "Can we talk?"

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"What do you want?" Spencer leans against the bathroom sink, not in the mood for games.

"Tut tut, Spencer." Mona twirls a strand of hair around her finger. "Patience is a virtue, you know."

"And we all know how virtuous you are," Spencer says acidly.

Mona tilts her head and smiles, but there's no warmth in it. It's like she's looking at a bug and deciding whether to squash it right away or whether to pull off its wings first.

Spencer meets her eyes steadily. It's the first time she's looked anyone in the eyes since _that night_.

"All right," Mona says, shrugging. "Since you're obviously not interested in societal conventions, I suppose we should just get to it."

She reaches into her bag and pulls out a small slip of paper. She hands it to Spencer and watches her face carefully as she reads it.

Spencer keeps her face blank as she reads it again, then rips it up into as many tiny pieces as she can. She lets the pieces drift off her hand into the trash, watching as they land like snowflakes.

"Can you manage that?" Mona asks, her eyes on the tattered pieces of paper.

"I've got it." Spencer turns away from her, staring into the sink. She wishes she could disappear. She thinks she's going to be sick. Her knuckles start to turn white from how hard she's gripping the edge of the sink.

"Are you sure?" Mona presses. "Because we can -"

"I said I've got it," Spencer snaps, rounding on her.

Mona gives her a curious look, like she's not sure she believes her. Then she smiles. "Great. Good luck."

She flounces out the door, leaving Spencer by herself. Spencer lifts her gaze and takes in her ragged appearance. She'd done her best to look like her old self, but there's something still _off_. The make-up is just a little too thick, her smile a little too forced. Not to mention she still has the bruise from where Aria had hit her, and a cut across one cheek from what had happened later. She'd passed those off as accidents when the staff had asked her about them.

"I must've fallen out of bed," she'd said. "Nightmares, you know?"

She was surprised they'd bought it. And even more surprised that her friends hadn't asked any questions.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"- so I told Caleb about it, but I don't think I should have because what if it wasn't what I thought it was? Like, what if I just wrecked the best thing that's ever happened to him?" Hanna is toying with her salad, her agitation making it hard to concentrate on food. She stabs a cherry tomato with her fork. "I don't know what to do."

Beside her Spencer is looking at her empty tray. She hadn't been able to stomach the thought of food, even though she was intent on putting on a good front. Now she's listening to Emily console Hanna, who has some kind of situation with Caleb and his father. She's not focussing on that. She doesn't even really care, which she knows is horrible. But there's so much they don't know, so much else they should be worrying about.

Like her.

Spencer chews the inside of her lip. The note had said to meet at the apartment block at seven. That meant she'd have time to go home, catch up on a bit of the reading she'd missed while she was in Radley, and get changed into her black hoodie – that horrible symbol of betrayal – before she snuck out and went to the address.

"Do you guys want to come over and watch a movie tonight?" Hanna's asking. She seems cheered up by whatever Emily's said, although Spencer didn't hear a word of it. "Mom's out of town for a seminar and Caleb's busy with his dad."

Emily readily agrees, but Spencer hesitates.

"I – I'm not sure," she says falteringly. "I have a lot of homework to catch up on."

"Can't you do that another time?" Aria asks.

"No." Spencer looks up, meets her eyes, and feels gripped by coldness. "It has to be tonight."

The others don't get the significance of her words, but Aria catches on. "Hey Spence, can I talk to you for a moment? It's about something… personal."

Repressing a shudder, Spencer gets to her feet and follows Aria to the hall. Since their confrontation at the resort she hasn't been able to look at her without remembering the impact of the flashlight, the horror of that drive, the shock of finding out that she was on the A-Team. And then what happened after…

"You got your first assignment?" Aria says.

Spencer nods.

"And it's tonight?"

She nods again.

"Are you gonna do it?"

"I don't have a choice, do I?" Spencer says.

She looks at the girl she once called her best friend. She'd always known that Aria could be secretive, that she could spin a lie without thinking twice… but she'd never thought that she could be holding onto something this huge. Spencer had known about Toby for a few weeks and it had nearly killed her. But Aria had been on the team for who knows how long, and she'd never said a word. Did she really have no qualms about lying to her friends?

"I guess not." Aria holds on for one more moment, and then her façade crumbles. Before Spencer's eyes she transforms back into that insecure little girl, the strong-spirited but beaten-down girl she used to be. It shows in her eyes, in the way her shoulders slump. "I'm sorry."

"How did it happen for you?" Spencer asks, and Aria freezes up.

"What?"

"Joining the team… how did they convince you?"

Aria's eyes become guarded again, but she can't hide all of her regret. "They didn't."

"What are you talking about?" Spencer doesn't quite understand the implications of this, but she knows it can mean nothing good.

"They didn't convince me," Aria says softly. "It was my idea."

The bell rings.

Aria jumps. "Gotta go."

"Wait -" Spencer calls, grabbing for her, but the smaller girl darts out of her reach and gets lost in the crowd.

Spencer stares after her, feeling her heart breaking all over again.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

Spending so long in Radley, and so long living in terror before that, has made Spencer hyper-alert and slightly paranoid. She sticks to the shadows and side-streets, pulling the black hoodie low over her face in case anyone catches sight of her. If anyone finds out her secret, she's dead. Or, more likely, they are.

The apartment is only a few blocks away, but the walk seems to take hours. By the time she reaches the rundown building she's shaking. The note said not to go inside, just to wait by the corner. She slips into the shadow beside the building, wraps her arms around herself, and waits.

After half an hour she starts pacing.

After another twenty minutes she starts compulsively checking her phone.

After two hours have elapsed she glances around one more time and then sets off home.

Inside her room she rips off her black hoodie. She can't get out of it fast enough. Just wearing it makes her feel sick, like it's poisoning her. She tosses it on her bed, where it lays like an accusation. She turns her back on it and runs a hand through her hair.

Her phone goes off.

**Black looks good on you, Spencer. –A**

She throws her phone down on her bed beside the hoodie. So that was her assignment. Turn up at the right place at the right time, and not tell anyone about it. And she'd done that. So was she officially in now?

She collapses into the nearby chair, rocking gently back and forth, running her hand over the cut on her cheek. She thinks about how she got it, how she should have tried harder. How everything is so screwed up now that just thinking about continuing is enough to make her heart pound. She doesn't want to live like this.

When Mona had offered her that choice, for the second time, all her instincts had screamed at her to say no. To stay loyal to her friends. To keep fighting. But her depression had taken a toll, and the betrayal of two of her closest friends had been more than enough to push her over the edge. With nothing left to lose, nothing left to prove, she'd given in. But not before one last shot.

_"Spencer -" Aria said, stepping forward._

_The split second distraction had been all Spencer needed. She'd lunged forward, reaching not for the hoodie but for the gun. Mona swung around, eyes blazing. She tried to jerk the gun away, but was too slow. Spencer crashed into her, and Mona used her momentum to slam her into the ground. The gun went flying. Aria, closest to it, hesitated for the briefest moment before snatching it up and backing away._

_"Aria!" Spencer cried. "Help me!"_

_Her friend shook her head, wrapping her hand around the gun._

_"Aria!" Spencer felt desperation welling up inside her. So this was how she would die._

She blinks. That's too painful to think about. She's quickly running out of things that it doesn't hurt to think about. Her friends, her boyfriend, even school all just make her feel worse. She has nothing left.

Nothing besides that damn black hoodie.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

She's flicking through her French book before school when someone knocks at the door.

"Come in," she murmurs without looking up.

"Hey." Emily hovers in the doorway. Her eyes drift to the chair; a question.

Spencer nods by way of invitation and Emily settles down across from her.

"How are you holding up?" Emily asks, concern shining in her eyes.

"I'm fine." Spencer turns another page, and then another just to break the silence that stretches between them. She looks up. "Really. I'm okay. I just need to catch up on some sleep."

Emily gives her one of those looks, the kind that speaks more eloquently than she ever could.

"Spencer -" she starts, but she's cut off by the sound of buzzing.

Neither of them move.

"You gonna get that?" Emily asks, her eyes flicking to Spencer's phone.

Spencer shrugs, but she reaches over and picks it up.

**Get her out of there. We need to talk. –A**

Her heart stops. She tries to think of a way to hide how agitated she is, but she comes up blank.

"I'm sorry," she says, standing up suddenly. Her book falls to the floor.

"You okay?" Emily says, picking up the book and handing it to her.

"Yeah," Spencer assures her, doing her best to sound convincing. "I just – I have some stuff to do before school. I'll see you there, okay?"

"Okay, but -"

Spencer's ushering her towards the door. Emily turns around, confused, and stops in the doorway.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Spencer feels her heart constrict. She wants to tell her everything, but to do so could only put her in more danger. She can't do that. She won't.

"I'm sure," she says, with the faintest hint of a smile.

Emily hesitates, then reaches over and hugs her; Spencer barely flinches. "All right. Text me if you need me."

"Hey Em," Spencer says as her friend turns to leave, "_lendemain pallier_."

Emily frowns quizzically, but before she can ask about it Spencer closes the door.

Spencer barely has time to sit down on her bed and try to convince herself not to panic before there's another knock on the door. Without waiting for an answer Aria walks into the room, closes the door behind her, and says, "Hey."

"Hi." Spencer schools her face into a neutral expression, even though this is one of the hardest things she's ever had to do: to look at your best friend and know you've lost them.

She was expecting Mona. She could have handled Mona. They'd never been friends; she'd always been the enemy. But now she had to deal with someone she'd thought she knew, someone who had completely betrayed her.

She feels sick as she realises that this is how Hanna and Emily will react if they ever find out about _her_.

"How are you?" Aria asks, sitting down beside her.

Spencer shuffles over so she's as far away as she can be. "Let's skip the pleasantries. You came here for a reason. Spit it out and then get out."

Aria holds up her hands in mock-surrender. "I didn't come here to fight, Spence. I'm not the enemy."

"Could've fooled me." Spencer pours as much venom into her words as she can, but Aria doesn't react.

"Look," her friend says, clasping her hands and leaning forward. "I think I know a way to get you out of this. A way for you to get out of the team without hurting anyone."

Spencer gives her a sideways look. "Then why don't you use it to get yourself out?"

"I'm in too deep," Aria says. "But it's not too late for you, Spencer. You can still walk away from this -"

"No I can't."

Aria doesn't respond for a long time. Finally she leans back, cocks her head, and looks at her friend. "So you don't want to quit?"

"Of course I want to," Spencer says, some of her anxiety splashing out into her words. "But I won't. I can't."

Aria smiles, like this is the answer she'd been hoping for.

Spencer watches her, and then she realises what's happened.

"This was a test, wasn't it?" she asks. "You were probing to see if I was going to turn against the A-Team."

Aria smiles again. It's a secretive kind of smile, like she knows more than she's telling and she feels superior because of it.

"You always were good with tests," she says.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

Spencer drums her fingers on the desk.

"Sorry I'm late," Aria says, dashing into the room and letting the door slam closed behind her. "Something came up."

"Whatever."

Aria doesn't even bother to sit down; this isn't a social call.

"Is that it?" Spencer asks, her eyes locking onto a piece of paper in Aria's hand.

"Yeah." Aria sets it down on the table and slides it across to her. "You know the drill. Read it, destroy it, do it."

"Uh-huh." Spencer unfolds the piece of paper and reads it. It's more complicated than the last one, so she wants to keep it for a while. But Aria's still watching her, so she reads it twice more and then rips it up. "Is that all?"

"Yeah." Aria turns to go, and then she turns back and gives Spencer an appraising look. "I know you don't believe me, but I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want this… any of this."

Spencer looks at her, falling into those dark eyes. Once she'd thought they held wonderful mysteries, but now all she saw were terrible secrets.

_While she was laying on the floor, Mona had advanced towards her. On instinct Spencer sprang to her feet and backed away, but she'd ended up in a corner. The walls pressing in on her, the gravity of the situation feeling like ice shooting through her veins… she couldn't move._

_"You don't have to fight us, Spencer," Mona said. "Just one little word and your problems go away. All the pain, all the disappointment, all the anger… it will all make sense. Just say yes."_

_Spencer felt trapped, terrified, and desperate. She shoved Mona away, shot past her, and sprinted for the door. She grabbed the handle, yanked at it, and felt her stomach drop when it didn't turn. She spun around to see Mona dangling the key, a wicked grin on her face._

_Spencer shot an appealing glance at Aria, who looked away. Then she stepped up to Mona, clenching her fists, desperation giving way to righteous fury._

_"I said no." Spencer set her jaw. "Now do whatever you need to do."_

_"Poor Toby," Mona said with mock sweetness. "He'll be so disappointed."_

_The words hung in the air for a second, and then everything exploded. Spencer grabbed Mona by the neck and started choking her again. But this time she did it right. Mona started gasping, then gagging, and slowly began to sink to the floor as her knees gave way._

_There was a clatter, the sound of footsteps, and then someone collided with Spencer. She let go of Mona, who fell to the floor and scrambled out of the way, breathing hard. Whirling around, Spencer saw Aria. And without thinking she slapped her, as hard as she could._

_Aria's eyes flew wide open, in shock and pain and something Spencer couldn't describe, and then she moved towards her. They stood there eyeing each other off, and then suddenly they were fighting. Somehow they were on the floor, screaming and crying. Aria raked her fingernail down Spencer's face, and she felt blood begin to dribble down her cheek. Spencer grabbed her shoulders and tried to push her off._

_They stayed locked in combat like that for almost a minute, and then Spencer pushed Aria off and they both backed away as fast as they could._

_Spencer ended up against the wall, her heart beating frantically and her eyes bright with tears as she stared at her friend. She reached up and covered the cut with her hand. She took a deep breath._

_"Okay," she said quietly, defeated. "You win. I'll help."_

"Well," Spencer says now, meeting Aria's eyes. "We don't always get what we want, do we?"

Then she stands up and strides out the door, not looking back.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"Yes," Spencer says, picking up the pen and scribbling down a made-up signature. "That's the one."

The salesperson smiles at her, stapling the form to some other pieces of paper and filing these away in a drawer. "Great."

He hands her a small package, wrapped in plain brown packaging. She takes it, feeling like she'd holding a bomb.

"Thanks," she says, giving him a smile as she tucks the box into her bag and starts heading for the door.

Once she's outside she resists the temptation to open the package. Her instructions were clear: pick up the parcel and take it to the apartment block. She has no idea what's in it, or what it's for. She may be part of the team, but she's the lowest on the totem pole. It's need-to-know only, and she doesn't need to know. She just needs to do.

She doesn't feel like going home. Melissa will be there, and she'll probably still be walking on eggshells around her. She keeps treating her like she thinks she's going to snap at any point. Which, to be fair, isn't entirely out of the question.

So she turns the opposite way and heads towards the nearest park. She finds the most secluded spot she can, on a bench in the shade of a clump of trees, and sits down. After a few minutes of staring at the wind moving the grass, which ripples like water, she pulls out her phone and looks at the screen. Her finger slides down it until it reaches Emily's number. Her thumb hovers over the Call button, and then she exits out of it. She can't tell her about this. She can't risk her safety like that. She's in this alone.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

She hasn't been home since before school. Melissa's sent her a couple of messages but she's ignored them. Now she stands outside her house, wondering whether to go inside and risk talking to her. She only has half an hour before she's meant to be at the meeting point.

The front door creaks a little as she opens it, but she doubts it's enough to wake her sister. She tiptoes across the kitchen and hurries up the stairs. Once in her room she dumps her bag on her bed and dons her black hoodie. She looks at herself in the mirror, and she feels disgusted. She's everything she swore she'd never be.

But there's no time to think about that now. She grabs what she'll need and then creeps downstairs. There's no sign of Melissa, so she makes it out the front door with no problems. The night is chilly. She tucks her hands into her sleeves, shivering a little, and walks as fast as she can down the street. She still feels jumpy, and knows she looks incredibly suspicious.

When she reaches the apartment block she lets out a sigh of relief. She hasn't run into anyone. She hasn't had to answer any questions. She hasn't had to use the excuses that she's had poised on her tongue since she got this assignment.

This time she only has to wait for a couple of minutes before there's a noise behind the door. She walks up the short flight of steps and waits on the doorstep, holding her breath. The door swings open, and she walks in to meet her fate.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

_Emily is doodling in the corner of her French book when something occurs to her. She sits up straight, reaching across her bed for her English-French dictionary._

_"Lendemain pallier," she mutters to herself._

_She looks up the two words, which don't entirely go together. That's odd. Spencer's always been good at French. Why would she have said two seemingly disconnected words?_

_"The next day… close relationship." She frowns. It's not a complete sentence. It doesn't make any logical or grammatical sense._

_What had Spencer been trying to say?_

_Her heart stops._

_Hey Em, she'd said. Lendemain pallier._

_H. E. L. P._

_She snatches up her phone and dials a number with fumbling fingers._

_ "Get over here," Emily says. "Spencer's in trouble."_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

**This is the sequel to 'Get Good', although that one can also stand alone. I'd originally intended this to be shorter and with fewer parts, but I got sucked into my own storyline. This has been so fun to write that I've just kept going. Let's see how and when it ends!**


	2. Game Over

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

The room smells like vanilla.

It's just a hint, but it's enough to remind Spencer of that night. There had been a scented candle on the bedside table. After she and Toby had been together in that burst of passionate love, she'd blown the candle out and they'd laid there in darkness.

It's dark in this room too, but in a totally different way. She doesn't feel safe, or secure, or even like she's doing the right thing. With Toby, everything had felt right. Being with him, kissing him, lying with him. She hadn't regretted any of it. But she's regretted everything she's done since then, since she found out who he was.

"Spencer."

The voice jerks her out of her reverie. She turns her attention to Mona, who is closing the door behind them.

"Did you have any trouble?" Mona asks, coming over to her.

The room is small, but it doesn't seem crowded. There are a few photos hanging on the wall, but a line of them catches Spencer's eyes. She sets her package down on the table near the door and walks over to the wall, running her gloved finger along the edge of the nearest photograph.

It's her school photo from last year. She was sick that day, so she looks less than her best; not quite as bad as when she was in Radley, but she still has that same pale sheen. Beside her photo are Hanna's and Emily's photos from the same year, and Ali's from the year before she died – although that's further away, almost by itself. There's no photo of Aria.

"Your targets," Spencer says faintly, looking at Mona.

The dark-haired girl walks over, pulling her hood away from her face. She looks at the photos. Then she reaches up, pulls down Spencer's, and hands it to her.

"I guess you don't need to be up there anymore," she says.

Spencer takes the photo, sliding it into the pocket of her skinny jeans. She knows this is just a way to incriminate her if the others ever find the lair. But she's in too deep to back out now.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"_What's going on?" Hanna sits down on Emily's bed, tossing her bag down on the floor._

_Emily stands up and starts pacing. "Something's wrong with Spencer." She glances at her friend. "Where's Aria?"_

"_I couldn't reach her," Hanna replies. "She must be busy."_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

_Aria waits in the car, running her hands nervously along the steering wheel. She checks her phone, glances out the window, sighs. Sometimes being part of the A-Team can be downright boring. This had been Mona's plan, so of course she'd given herself the most important job._

_That was probably better, Aria reflected, because the plan involved Spencer. She wasn't sure she could handle talking to her friend right now. She hadn't wanted her to be part of any of this, but there'd been no way to prevent it._

_As she reaches into her handbag to grab her lipstick, her phone goes off._

_**SOS.**_

_She snaps it shut, starts up the engine, and speeds away from the curb._

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"No." Spencer's eyes are wide, horrified. "I can't do that."

"Spencer, you're with us now," Mona reminds her. "You were going to have to make this choice sooner or later, and it may as well be sooner. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. You can't back out. You stick with us, or you disappear. And do you really think your friends would care? What if you disappeared, and _somehow_ Hanna and Emily stumbled upon this room? Their photos on the wall… your cell phone on the table… your clothes in the closet… oh dear. Whatever would they think?"

Spencer looks away, closing her eyes as if to block out the thoughts.

"Or," Mona goes on, seeing she's not quite convinced, "what if your time in Radley wasn't enough to cure you? What if you truly were insane, and in your anger and illness you lashed out at your friends? They were trying to help you, but you got violent. You lost control. And in a tragic confrontation, one of them died. So overcome with grief, you took that knife and used it to end your own life too."

"I -" Spencer looks up, her eyes swimming with tears. She can hardly see through them. Impatiently she brushes them away with her sleeve. "Please don't."

"You have to pick a side, Spencer." Mona opens a drawer and pulls out something that shines in the moonlight. She balances the knife on her palm, and then starts using it to trace the veins on her arm. "It would be terribly tragic for Rosewood to lose another young girl, wouldn't it?"

Spencer stands up, folding her arms around herself. She walks to the window and looks out. The street outside is deserted. She could die here and no one would hear her scream. She turns back to Mona.

"Okay," she says, hating the treacherous sound of her voice. "I have to choose your next target? Fine."

She pulls the hood back over her face, as if that will keep her secret hidden, keep her safe.

"I choose Hanna."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"_I don't understand." Hanna tilts her head. "You think Spencer's in trouble because she spoke French to you?"_

_Emily shakes her head, frustrated. "It's not that. She spoke broken French to me. It didn't make sense. She was trying to tell me something. She needs us."_

"_Okay." Hanna, seeing how upset her friend is, backs off. "Let's just say she's in trouble. What can we do about it? It must be pretty bad, if she had to tell us in code. She must not want somebody to find out. But who -?"_

"_Hey guys," Aria says breathlessly, closing the door behind her. "Sorry I'm late. What's up?"_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

The moment after she says the name, condemning her friend, Spencer's phone rings. She freezes. It's not her A-phone, the one she's going to have to use to torture her friends. It's her personal phone, the one her friends would use to call her if they needed her. They still thought they could count on her, after all.

Mona holds out her hand.

Spencer pulls out her phone and reluctantly hands it over to her enemy.

"It's Aria," Mona says. She pauses, then gives Spencer back her phone. "Answer it."

Spencer frowns, puzzled, but does as instructed.

"Hey, Aria," she says cautiously. "What's going on?"

"You're on speakerphone. I'm with Emily and Hanna," Aria says, and Spencer senses the slightest hint of a threat. But no, that can't be right. Aria may be on the A-Team, but she wouldn't really hurt the others, would she? "Emily got your message. The one she thinks you left her in French."

"The – oh." Spencer feels faint. Aria wasn't meant to find out about that. "Yeah. That was…"

"Is everything okay?" Aria asks.

Spencer takes a deep breath. She wants to scream at her, to curse her. She wants to yell at Emily and Hanna not to trust her. She wants to confess everything, to break down and cry. She'd even settle for being in Radley again, because that was safer than now.

Instead she says, "Yeah, everything's fine."

"Are you sure?" Emily presses.

Feeling her heart break even more with every syllable, Spencer says, "I'm totally sure. You must've just gotten your wires crossed. Everything's A-OK."

As soon as she says it, she knows how stupid it was. And the look Mona's giving her makes her truly understand the phrase 'death stare'.

_Hang up_, Mona mouths.

"I'm in the middle of studying right now though," Spencer says wildly. "I'll talk to you guys later, okay?"

"Spence." Hanna speaks for the first time, and Spencer feels like she could die.

She interrupts before Hanna can say anything else. "I'm studying English at the moment, Hanna. If you want help with it, I can do that. Anytime really, I'm available. Remember that. Later."

She hangs up. Wordlessly she hands Mona her phone. And then she waits for the backlash.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"_See?" Aria says, putting her phone back in her pocket. "I told you she was okay."_

"_I guess so." Emily still isn't convinced, but she doesn't have anything to base her uneasiness on. "I must've just misinterpreted her. The whole thing with Nate and –A and… everything… it's just made me really paranoid. I'm overthinking things."_

"_It's okay." Aria squeezes her friend's shoulder. "We're all a little on edge. The important thing is that Spencer's okay, and that she knows we're here for her."_

"_You're right." Emily rests her head on Aria's hand for a moment. "I just… she hasn't been the same since she got out of Radley. I hope she comes back to us soon. I miss the old Spencer."_

"_Me too," Aria says, absently running her hand through Emily's hair. "But she's okay. We just need to give her time. And speaking of, I don't have much left. Mom wanted me to help her decorate the kitchen tonight, so I should head off now. I'll see you guys tomorrow?"_

_Once she's gone, Hanna sits up, her eyes hard. "Emily," she says, her voice trembling with barely controlled fury and fear. "We need to get to Spencer. Now."_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"What was that?" Mona's voice is so cold that Spencer wouldn't be surprised if icicles started forming on her lips.

"I answered the phone," Spencer says. "Like you told me to."

"You tipped them off." She folds her arms. "You used the code _I_ taught Hanna to warn her about Aria. You hinted that this was about A. You made them realise you weren't okay. You know what else you did?"

Spencer shakes her head. She doesn't know, and she doesn't want to know.

"You just signed your death sentence."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

_Aria glances behind her. The road is still clear. That had been close, way too close. Hanna and Emily had figured out the hint Spencer had dropped; they knew something was wrong. She has to talk to Spencer. She has to fix this. She can't have them finding out about Spencer, about her, about the A-Team._

_She runs through the conversation again in her head. They'd seemed to buy Spencer's story about studying, even though Aria knew that she was on assignment tonight. Being the intelligent, sneaky girl she was, Spencer had tried to drop hints again. A-OK. How clumsy. But Hanna and Emily hadn't picked up on it. Had they?_

_Suddenly she recalls how the conversation had ended. Anytime really, I'm available._

_A. R. I.A._

"_Damn her!" Aria exclaims, slamming her foot down on the gas pedal._

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"W-what?"

"If you're not on our side, you're on theirs," Mona says. "There's no place for disloyalty here. If we can't trust you, we can't use you on the team. But you can't go back to them now, can you? So what's left, Spencer?"

This is how she felt that night at the resort: terrified, desperate, certain she's going to die. She's unable to move, think, breathe. She really is going to die.

"Unless." Mona taps her chin. "There is one thing you could do."

"What is it?"

"There's a job that needs to be taken care of," Mona says, drawing her words out to keep Spencer in suspense. "I was going to have Aria do it, but if you wanted to step up -"

"What _is_ it?"

"Emily contacted us last week," Mona explains. "She did it secretly, setting up a meeting with '-A'. Undoubtedly it's part of a plan, and chances are Hanna's in on it too. Aria has no knowledge of it. Do you know what it was?"

Spencer swallows, licking her dry lips.

"If you know what the plan is, you can help," Mona says invitingly. "And if you can help, you get to live."

"Hanna doesn't know anything," Spencer says at last. Her words are so soft that Mona has to lean closer to hear. "It was a plan that Emily and I made."

"What were you hoping to gain from it?"

"You know the pretence. We were pretending to have something incriminating. We don't have a damn thing. Emily was going to make the meeting, and I was going to ambush –A when they turned up. See if we could unmask them."

"Why you?" Mona asks. "Why not Hanna or Aria?"

"They were… preoccupied. Aria's stressed about Ezra, so we didn't want to burden her with this. Hanna's been busy with this new fashion stylist internship she's working towards, so we figured it was best to leave her out of it. We made this plan a while ago, before -" She stops talking. Then she takes a deep breath and keeps going. "She wanted to call it off, but I still thought it was a good idea. So we agreed to do it. And then -"

"Good news, Spencer," Mona says. "You still get to be part of the plan after all."

"Just on the other side," Spencer mutters.

She eyes the knife that Mona left on the table. She calculates how long it would take to get to it. She clenches her fist.

"What do I have to do?"

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"_And I'm doing this because?" Caleb asks._

"_We think Spencer's in trouble," Hanna says again. "So much trouble that she can't tell us where she is."_

"_Right." He keeps typing on his computer, his fingers flying over the keys with such speed that Emily feels dizzy. "And if I find her, you're going to call the police like logical people and get them to take care of it?"_

"_No," Emily says. "We're going to go there and save her ourselves. If it's do with –A, we can't get the police involved. It's not safe for anyone."_

_He sighs, his fingers slowing down a bit. But he keeps typing, and a few minutes later he says, "I've just about got it."_

_Hanna turns away, leaning against the table. "God, I hope she's okay."_

"_She will be," Emily assures her. "We'll get there in time."_

"_Done," Caleb announces. He leans back, revealing a map on screen that he'd managed to produce by hacking into the GPS on Spencer's phone. The girls stare at it._

"_What's she doing there?" Emily asks, puzzled._

"_I don't know, and I don't care." Hanna's pulling her coat on, ready for action. "Let's just get there."_

"_What about Aria?" Caleb says, handing Hanna her bag and walking the girls to the front door. "Isn't she going too?"_

_The girls exchange a look._

"_She's already gone," Emily says, and steps out the door._

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

As she steps outside, Spencer considers the seriousness of what she's just done. Not only has she agreed to help target Hanna (she couldn't bear to go after Emily; it was still too soon since Maya died), she'd also given Mona information about their secret plan _and_ helped to develop a counter plan to unravel theirs. She feels sick.

She stands there for a few moments, digging her nails into her arm. In Radley she'd used the pain to help her focus and keep her grounded. Now she hurts herself because she knows she deserves it. The pain reminds her of the things she's done, the things she's going to do, and she allows herself to hurt so that the guilt eases the tiniest bit.

Her arm stinging, she turns to go.

A car comes careening around the corner. In the darkness it takes Spencer a few seconds to recognise it. It's only when the car slows down that she squints through the gloom and sees the licence plate. And then she's so shocked that she doesn't move until two figures climb out of the car. When they start moving towards her, the spell breaks.

"Shit," she says, flipping up her hood and turning away.

Someone shouts, and she knows she's been spotted. Today she'd wanted Emily to figure it out, and tonight she'd wanted to clue Hanna in. But now there was too much at stake. If her friends found out about her, it wasn't just Spencer who would be punished; Mona would find a way to take it out on the others too.

Spencer takes off as fast as she can. Years of field hockey have made her legs lean and strong, and she covers the ground quickly. But as she nears her house she wonders how she's going to get away. If Hanna and Emily see her going to her own house, they'll pull two and two together. But she can't keep running forever.

As she turns the next corner she looks back. There's no one behind her. She slows to a jog, straining her ears to hear any sounds of footsteps. When she's jogged for five minutes without any sound, she allows herself to slow down to a walk.

She reaches her house and slips inside, hoping Melissa won't be there. In the kitchen she sees a scrap of paper on the table.

_I've gone to stay with a friend in Philly for a couple days. There's some leftover ravioli in the fridge for dinner. See you when I get back. –Melissa_

Breathing a sigh of relief, Spencer pulls back her hood and lets herself catch her breath. That was much too close for comfort. She takes her hair out of its messy ponytail and allows it to fall around her shoulders. The weight of it reminds her of the weight of the guilt pressing down on her.

She makes her way up to her room and takes off her black clothing. She feels the need to be clean, to free herself from this burden of betrayal. She leaves her clothes lying on the floor and goes into the bathroom.

Maybe the water will cleanse her from her sins.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

_As Emily pulls up to Spencer's house she peers through the darkness._

"_Looks like her light's on," she says, getting out and slamming the door._

_Hanna's already halfway up the path. "Spencer!" she calls, banging on the door. "Are you in there?"_

"_Hanna!" Emily says reprovingly, coming to join her. "What if Melissa's home? Do you want to wake her up?"_

"_I don't care. I just want to know Spencer's safe."_

_Emily doesn't have a reply. Instead she reaches out and turns the handle. To her surprise the door swings easily open. She shares a wide-eyed look with Hanna and then follows her inside._

"_Spence?" Emily calls as they reach the bottom of the stairs. "Are you home?"_

_Hanna starts walking up the stairs, softly, even though she's calling out her friend's name._

"_Spencer? Where are you?"_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

She steps out of the shower and hears a sound that makes her blood run cold. Footsteps. On the stairs. Then Hanna's voice, calling her name. Her eyes fall to the black hoodie and jeans on the floor. Damning evidence. She quickly grabs them up and shoves them under her bed, then goes back into the bathroom.

Someone knocks on the door. "Spencer?"

She opens the door and steps out, clad only in a towel and in a blanket of her own indiscernible guilt.

"Hi guys," she says, pretending to look surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"We're, um." Hanna hesitates, confused. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Spencer crosses the room, grabs some sweats and a clean shirt, and heads back to the bathroom. "I'll be back in a second."

Once she's dressed she emerges from the room. Her friends are both sitting on her bed, watching her. She cocks an eyebrow.

"Are you guys okay?" she asks.

"We're fine, Spencer," Emily says. "But we're worried about you."

"There's nothing to be worried about," Spencer says. She's aiming to be breezy, but it's barely a murmur. "Everything's fine. I've just been studying."

A beat of silence passes.

"We got your message," Hanna says.

Emily shoots her a sharp look, but then she relents. "What you said to me today. The words in French. It was a message, wasn't it?"

"I was just working on pronunciation," Spencer says. "It didn't mean anything."

"But today," Hanna says, "when we called you. You didn't sound like yourself."

"I'm just tired." She knows it's a flimsy excuse. "I'm still not sleeping well. Since I've been back I – it's been hard. But I'm doing okay."

Hanna bites her lip. "Aria," she says at last. "The message was about her. Wasn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Spencer tries her best to sound detached, which is easy enough after so long not connecting with anybody. "Listen, guys, I'm really tired. I'm going to call in early -"

"Spencer," Hanna says firmly.

The sound of her name, more than anything else, makes Spencer's heart ache. She walks over to the mirror and starts combing out her hair. Anything so that she doesn't have to focus on her friends.

"Talk to us," Hanna urges. "Is Aria in trouble? And you couldn't tell her because that would put her in more danger? Is that what you were trying to tell us?"

"No." Spencer looks at them in the mirror. "She's safe."

"Is she… is she hiding something from us? Something we should know?"

Caught between a lie and the truth, Spencer bites her tongue and stays silent.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"_She's not herself," Hanna persists as they leave a few minutes later._

"_There's nothing we can do now," Emily says. "She doesn't want to talk, and we can't make her. We just have to give her some space. She'll come to us when she's ready."_

"_Those messages meant something," Hanna says. "I'm sure they did."_

"_Maybe." Emily seems unsure. "Or maybe we're overthinking things. Either way we're not going to solve this tonight. We should sleep on it. Things'll be better in the morning."_

_As they climb into Emily's car, Hanna looks one more time at Spencer's house. "Let's hope so."_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

She's thumbing through her English book, but the words aren't sinking in. She catches one now and then, locking in on words like _betrayal_ and _pain_, but she doesn't follow the story at all. She doesn't need to hear about imaginary people and their imaginary problems. She has more than enough of her own to worry about.

There's a knock at the door.

"Go away," she mumbles, rolling over so that she's facing away from the door. No matter who it is, she's sure she doesn't want to talk to them.

The door opens, and then she knows who it is. There are only three people who would come into her room after she told them not to, and two of those people have just left. That leaves one.

Spencer sits up, her heart pounding. Aria closes the door, leaning against it with her hands behind her back like a shy little schoolgirl. But she's wearing her black hoodie, reminding Spencer that she's not so innocent after all.

"What do you want?" Spencer asks.

"We need to talk." Aria pushes herself off the door and walks forward, wringing her hands. For a second she looks genuinely nervous. She perches on the end of Spencer's bed; Spencer tucks her legs up under her so she's as far away as possible.

"About what?"

"This." Aria makes a sweeping motion with her hand. "All of this."

Spencer considers for a moment. "Then talk."

"I…" Aria pauses, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She bows her head, her ridiculous feather earrings swinging slightly. Then she looks up. "I've been in on this from the start. Ali and I – we were close. We started the A-Team as a joke, but then… someone else found out."

"Red Coat," Spencer says, and Aria nods.

"She took over, and she made us… she forced us to make it more serious. It wasn't a joke anymore. If we didn't go along with whatever she told us to do, even more awful things would happen. And then Ali died, and… I had to keep it going. I wanted to tell you guys, I wanted to be able to help. I didn't want to hurt you. But… I had to."

This is all neat, logical. It explains why Aria is on the A-Team, and why she never told them. But there's something missing.

"Do you know who killed Ali?" Spencer says, hardly more than a whisper.

Aria shakes her head. "I've been trying to find out, but -"

"Who's Red Coat?"

Her friend doesn't respond.

"You know, don't you?" Spencer sits up straighter, leans forward. She's on the verge of something that's been haunting her for months. And Aria clearly knows the answer.

"Aria." Spencer's voice is sharp. "Who's Red Coat? Why won't you _tell me_?"

"It's complicated, Spence," Aria says gently. "But I'll tell you someday."

"No." Spencer reaches out and grabs Aria's arm. "Why can't you tell me now?"

Aria looks down at Spencer's hand, then up at her face. "I'm sorry, Spence. I just can't."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

_Aria is very conscious of her expressions. She's worked hard to be able to mask her true emotions; if she hadn't, she'd have never gotten this far. If she'd let her mask slip, even for a second, the girls would have found out about her long ago._

_And even now, Spencer doesn't know._

_She bought the tale Aria weaved about Red Coat. Aria thinks of the red coat in her own closet, and she suppresses a smile._

_Spencer has no idea._

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

**There will be at least one more chapter. I'm open to suggestions, so tell me what you want to see. More from Spencer's POV? More about Aria's motivations? More about how Emily and Hanna are dealing with everything? The more reviews I get, the quicker I'll get the next chapter out. :)**


	3. Better Now

**Here it is, the final instalment. Special shoutout to Runawaybaby555 whose review helped me shape this final chapter. Enjoy!**

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

For a long while after her friend leaves, she doesn't move. Her arms are wrapped around her knees, her hair falls over her face, and the blanket across her shoulders does little to ease the coldness. She shivers.

And that tiny involuntary movement breaks the hold of stillness. She throws the blanket from her shoulders, gets to her feet, and looks around her room. It feels unbearable. The trophies, the photos, the paintings – they're all remnants of a life that's over, mementos of a person she no longer is. A person who is as good as dead.

One by one she knocks the paintings to the floor, momentarily satisfied by the sound of the shattering frames. One by one she rips up the photographs, the grinning faces of people she no longer knows staring at her as the pieces flutter away. One by one she pulls the clothes from her closet, tossing them aside as a reminder that she is not the girl she used to be.

One by one the tears start to fall.

When everything in her room is displaced, strewn across the room like a disaster zone, she finally sinks to the floor, her chest heaving with the weight of words unsaid and her heart heavy with broken promises. The tears come thick and fast, and she doesn't try to stop them.

For now, there is no choice but to lose herself in the misery.

Is this the eternal misery that hope brings?

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

As soon as she's alone in her room, Aria collapses on her bed and lets the gravity of what she's done set in. She runs her hand along a cut on her neck from her scuffle with Spencer at the resort. She deserves much more, she knows that. But the pain hurts on more than a physical level. She and Spencer had always been close. They rarely fought, and they always made up. But ever since that night, Spencer has been distant, even cold. And rightly so.

In her eyes, Aria knows she's a traitor.

She stands up and takes off her hoodie, carefully storing it under her bed. That's where she always keeps it, ever since she got it three years ago; no one has ever found it, not even Ali. Then she makes her way over to her closet and opens it. She pushes aside a collection of dresses and skirts and there it is: the red coat.

The day she'd been given it, she'd been sitting in her room with Ali. Her father had come and knocked on the door.

"_Come in," she said._

_Her father walked in and deposited a parcel on her bed. "Someone dropped this off just now," he said. "It's for you."_

_He seemed like he wanted to stay and see what was inside, but the look Aria gave him was enough to make him rethink the idea._

_Once he'd gone, Aria opened the parcel. The red coat had been there, in pristine condition. She picked it up, admiring it in the light. It was beautiful – but where had it come from?_

"_Secret admirer?" Ali teased._

_It wasn't until Ali had left that she'd tried it on, twirling to admire it from every angle, and had put her hands in the pockets._

_Then she found the note._

She closes her closet door.

This is an incredibly risky game. She's gambling not only with her own life but with her friends' too. Now Spencer's involved the stakes are even higher; any mistake on Aria's part could result in some serious consequences for her friend. She hadn't wanted Spencer on the team. She'd wanted to be able to execute this plan by herself.

She could have taken down the A-Team. She could have saved her friends.

But now she may not even be able to save herself.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

When Spencer wakes up the next day, the sky is a pale eggshell blue and the sun is brighter than it's been in weeks. Or maybe it just looks different from where she is, sprawled out on the floor where she fell asleep last night. The tears had finally subsided, but by then she'd had no energy to move. She'd watched a spider build a web in one corner of her room until sleep had caught her at last.

Now she sits up slowly, running a hand through her hair and looking around. The furious pain she'd felt last night has abated, leaving coldness in its wake. As she's about to stand up she catches sight of the spider web, and is forcibly reminded of –A. The plans, the plots, the tricks, all spun so delicately, seemingly flawless. Designed to draw you in until it's too late, until you're stuck to the web, held there until the monster that torments you feels the desire to tear you apart.

She flicks the web away with one hand and gets to her feet.

It takes her longer than usual to find an outfit. Today is going to be a big day, and she's not sure how she's going to manage it. She has to get through an entire day of school, studying subjects she's lost all interest in, talking to friends she no longer knows, living a life that's no longer hers. Then she has to betray one of her closest friends, pretending to be part of Emily's plan but intending on destroying it at the last minute. After all, what choice does she have?

And somehow she has to keep going after that. She has to keep playing double agent, trying to protect her friends and infiltrate the A-Team. But she feels like she's losing herself in the process. To save them, she has to become someone she can't bear to see in the mirror. She has to put on a façade every day and hope to god no one sees through it.

She dons a black beret, clips her favorite gold necklace around her neck, and touches up her mascara. Perhaps there's still a bit of the old Spencer in her. At least she can pretend there is; and she's going to have to if she wants to survive the day.

She no longer knows whether she's caught in the web or if she's the one weaving it.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"_Hey Em," Spencer says, closing her locker door. "What's up?"_

"_We need to talk." Emily shoots a glance down the hall, making sure there's no one to overhear them. "About tonight."_

_Spencer doesn't reply. She busies herself organising her textbooks, stacking them in the order in which she'll need them._

"_We're still on for tonight, aren't we?" Emily asks._

_Her friend turns to her. "Unless you're having doubts about it?"_

"_No." Emily's voice is firm, determined. "No. I think this could help. But…"_

"_You want to tell the others." It's not a question._

_Emily tries to read Spencer's expression, but she's too guarded, too distant. It's almost like there's nothing behind those dead eyes. "Yeah. I mean… unless there's a reason why we shouldn't?"_

"_I just don't want to get them involved if we can help it," Spencer says, beginning to walk down the corridor. "The less people caught up in this, the better."_

_Although she senses that there's more to the story than her friend is letting on, Emily doesn't push the subject. "I guess it's probably best if we just do it ourselves then. Like we planned."_

_They've reached the end of the hall, where they part ways. Spencer looks down the hall, then at her books, then at the floor. She seems jittery._

"_Right," she says. "I'll see you later."_

_As she walks away, Emily watches her friend. Something isn't right, and she's determined to get to the bottom of it._

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

Aria sits down on the bench and crosses one leg over the other, sipping from a bottle of juice. She sets this down beside her, then pulls her English book out of her bag and carefully folds down the corner of one page. Then she rips a page from a notebook and scribbles a quick message. Forcing herself not to look up, because she knows how suspicious it looks when you survey the area with shifty eyes, she slides the note in between two pages and then tucks the book back into her bag.

Now she allows herself to look up. Lunch has only just started, so the courtyard is practically deserted. None of her friends are here yet, which is just as well. She needs a few minutes to compose herself before being able to face anyone. Tonight is the night. She's not supposed to know about what's going down – Mona still doesn't entirely trust her, especially in missions involving her friends – but she'd done a bit of snooping around the lair and found out about it. And the way Spencer had acted last night confirmed her suspicions. Tonight was when everything was going to come to a climax.

Her heart is beating painfully fast. If things go wrong tonight, someone's going to get hurt. Someone could die. What if it was one of her friends? She closes her eyes, hating herself for the thought. She can't think like that. She has to trust that everything will go well.

"Hey," says a voice to her left, making her eyes fly open.

Emily settles down beside her. She's looking at her with a curious expression.

"Hi." Aria moves over to make more room for her. She's about to ask how she is, or how her day's been, or something else suitably vague, but Emily speaks first.

"Is everything okay?"

The question catches Aria off-guard. For the tiniest moment she wants to answer honestly. She wants to tell her the secret she's been keeping for years, and she wants to beg for forgiveness. She's felt like this many times, but each time she's had to restrain herself. Having the others know would only put them all in more danger. So she smiles, even though the pressure of having to lie like this is making her feel dizzy.

"Of course it is. Why do you ask?"

"It's just… something Spencer said."

"Spencer?" Aria feels her heart stop. Then it picks up the pace again until it's beating so fast she's amazed it hasn't broken a few ribs. "What did she say?"

"When we called her last night, she didn't sound like herself." Emily is choosing her words carefully, and Aria's anxiety is growing with each pause. "She said something that made… well, it made Hanna think she was trying to warn us about you."

"What about me?" Aria forces the words out of her mouth. Is this it? Has her cover been blown?

"We're not sure," Emily admits. "And when we talked to Spencer, she denied it. But we think maybe she can't tell us, for whatever reason. And we were hoping you'd know what was going on. That maybe you could tell us."

Aria doesn't answer. She feels sick, like she's about to pass out. And to compensate for her racing heart, her mind has completely shut down.

"Aria, is there something you're not telling us? Do you know why Spencer's been acting so weird? There's more to all of this than I can understand. And if you know something you should tell me because – Aria?"

The smaller girl has doubled over, clutching her stomach. It feels like she's being stabbed. She can't breathe. Her heart won't slow down. The pain won't stop.

"Aria?" Emily sounds panicked.

She tries to say something, anything, but no sound comes out aside from a slight wheezing.

Through the haze that's clouded her vision, she can dimly make out the figure of Emily. She's calling for help, one hand on Aria's shoulder and the other one desperately gesturing for someone to get over here.

As Aria feels her consciousness slipping away, she pulls Emily towards her. After a few tries she manages to choke some words out. "My book," she whispers. "Make sure… Spencer… gets it."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

The last thing she hears is a thud as her head hits the bench.

"She – what?" Spencer's face loses all its color.

Emily gives her a sympathetic look. "I know. It was really sudden. They took her to the hospital about ten minutes ago."

"Is she going to be okay?" Spencer still feels conflicted about Aria, but they've been friends for so long that she can't just ignore this.

"I think so. I'm going to try to visit her this afternoon, if you want to come."

Spencer nods. "Of course."

"Aria wanted me to give you this." Emily pulls a book out of her bag and hands it to her.

Confused, Spencer takes it and reads the title. "She wanted me to have her English book? Why?"

Emily shrugs. "It was the last thing she said before she blacked out. I figured it would mean something to you."

"It doesn't." Spencer turns a couple of the pages. Then she realises that one of the pages is folded at the corner, and as she flicks to it she sees a note. She doesn't want Emily to see her read it, so she shrugs and puts it in her bag. "I'll ask her about it when I visit her later."

"Okay." Emily checks her phone. "Shoot. I'm late. Meet me out front after school and we can drive over together?"

"Sure." Spencer is already walking away, intent on finding a place where she can read the note in privacy. She has class now, but skipping it doesn't seem as horrible as it once did. The old Spencer Hastings, the one who cared about grades and college, is long gone.

She settles down in the back of the library and turns to the page with trembling fingers. The note is brief, written on a scrap of paper that looks like it's been torn out of another book.

**Spence,**

**I need to talk to you. It's about tonight. I know how we can stop it. I'm on your side, I promise. Talk to me and we can work this out. Please?**

**A (the good one)**

Spencer crumples the note up and slides it into her pocket. She's not sure who to trust anymore. But if Aria's in the hospital, could it be that she'd finally turned against the A-Team and they'd done something to her in retaliation? In that case would it be better for Spencer to talk to her or to stay away? And what if this was all an act? What if going to the hospital was what they wanted her to do, so they could trap her?

She shakes her head, too many thoughts making her brain feel cluttered. She needs a way to sort them out.

And maybe the only way to do that is to talk to the one person who may know everything.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

Aria's eyes flicker open and she groggily takes in the sight of the hospital room. She's been in too many hospital rooms since this whole –A thing started. Even though she had always been on the team, that hadn't stopped them targeting her from time to time; partly to throw suspicion off her, and partly, she suspected, because they still liked torturing her.

She drags herself into an upright position, feeling pain stab her in the stomach and pierce through her head. There's a drip in one arm, and a gently beeping machine on one side of the bed. And she's not the only one in the room.

"Hello, Aria."

Aria spits the name out. "Mona."

"It's come to our attention," she says, tapping the arm of the chair, "that you've been planning something. None of the rest of the team has approved of it or had any part in it. Would you care to share what it was?"

Aria looks away, clenching her jaw. She's been caught, but maybe Spencer still has a chance.

"I thought so." Mona stands up and walks over to her. "Now, we seem to have run into a little problem here. The thing is -"

She stops talking suddenly, her head jerking sideways as she catches sight of someone in the hallway. Her eyes widen, and then harden.

"Guess we're going to have to have this little talk later then," she says, and Aria breathes a tiny sigh of relief.

Then she blacks out again.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

Spencer balances on the edge of the bed, careful not to touch her. She's not entirely sure what's wrong with Aria, but she's worried that the slightest movement could exacerbate whatever it is.

"Aria," she says softly. "Are you awake?"

There's no response.

"Aria." She reaches forward and rests her hand on Aria's arm. "Hey. Wake up. We need to talk."

That's when Spencer notices the bruise across her friend's face. Without thinking her fingers fly out and she traces it gently, feeling her heart stop for a second. Who had done that?

"Please." Spencer can hear the fear in her own voice, hear the words catch in her throat. "Aria, please. Wake up. Just _wake up_."

She lies down beside her. The doubts, the confusion, it all melts away. This is Aria. This is her closest friend. This is the girl she has known for years, who's helped her through countless heartaches, who's been there for her no matter what. It's Spencer's turn to be here for her now. She feels the tears start to come as the emotions she's been repressing start to spill over.

As she reaches up to wipe them away, Aria's finger twitches.

"Aria?" Spencer sits up, squeezing her friend's hand. "Aria?"

Her eyes slowly open and she lets out a groan.

Spencer resists the urge to hug her, even though she would love nothing more than to wrap her friend up in her arms and never let go. "You're awake," she breathes. "You're okay."

"Awake, yes." Aria holds her hand to her face, wincing when she touches the bruise. "'Okay' is open to debate."

"What happened?"

"The first time or the second?" Aria asks with a weak smile.

"Both."

"You got my note?" Aria inquires, and Spencer nods. "-A knew about it. I think it was Mona who found out about it. They must have known I was going to try to help you, so they got to me first."

Spencer's claps her hand over her mouth. "They poisoned you?"

Aria nods. "It's not the worst thing they've ever done, either."

"What happened after that?"

"I ended up in here," Aria says. "And I got a visitor."

"Mona?"

"Of course. She was going to try to trick me, I think. Offer me some kind of ultimatum or threaten me with something. But someone was coming – it might've been you, I don't know how long I was out – so she kind of freaked and hit me."

"Please tell me you have a plan to take her down," Spencer says, her fury making her words shake. "Because I am so tired of her games. I'm done."

"I have a plan," Aria says. "I was going to try to do it myself, but… well, we were always stronger together, weren't we?"

Spencer gives her hand a squeeze. "Still are. So what's the plan?"

"Before I tell you, I think I need to explain some things." Aria bites her lip, seeming unsure, but she goes on anyway. "If something – if something happens, I want at least one of you to know the truth."

"Nothing's going to happen," Spencer assures her, although the feeling of dread in her stomach would beg to differ. "But… what truth?"

Aria takes a deep breath. She fiddles with the edge of her bedsheet. Then she looks up and meets her friends eyes and lets go of her biggest secret.

"I'm Red Coat."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

As soon as the words are out of her mouth, Aria regrets it. They seem to hang in the air between them, but before she can take them back Spencer snatches them up.

"You're Red Coat." Spencer looks at her as if she's never seen her before. "You?"

"It's not what you think," Aria hastens to add. She doesn't want to lose her best friend, not after she's finally gotten her back. "I'm not… I'm not really in charge. And I definitely didn't volunteer. It's just… the others. The rest of the A-Team… they have a lot to hold over my head."

"They're holding things over all our heads," Spencer points out. "But you don't see the rest of us rushing to join the enemy."

"It's different for me," Aria says, desperate to make Spencer understand. "I was one of the ones who started the team – as a joke of course – so when the first Red Coat took over, I was stuck. And then she handed it over to me. She gave me the coat with a letter that said 'Play your part or the curtains close on someone you care about'."

"Did you ever stop to think they were bluffing? –A hasn't followed up on all the threats they've made."

"Believe me, I considered that option." Aria runs a finger along the scar she got on Halloween, when she was locked in that crate. "But every time I refused to do something, someone got hurt. That's why I got drugged and nearly killed on Halloween. That's why they planted Meredith in my house and had her try to kill me. That's why Mike nearly got arrested for breaking into houses. Every time I let the A-Team down, someone in my family got targeted. I had to… I had to keep them safe."

She can't meet her friend's eyes. She feels so foolish; she's supposed to be stronger than this. It hurts to have to admit to such weakness, to own up to such cowardice.

"Aria." Spencer's voice makes Aria look up, hesitantly meet her eyes. "This isn't your fault. You were trying to keep the people you loved safe. I understand how that feels. I get how hard it is to make that kind of choice, to live with that kind of secret. Okay? I get it."

Aria takes a moment to understand the words. Then a slow smile spreads across her face. "Really? We're okay?"

"Of course we are."

This is the most tender moment they've shared in weeks, and Aria wants it to last. But Spencer's phone goes off, prematurely ending the moment.

"Who is it?" Aria asks.

"Emily. I should take this. But then we'll talk about all of this, okay?"

Aria nods, and watches as her friend answers the phone. She tries very purposefully not to eavesdrop, so she turns her attention to the edge of the bedsheet which suddenly becomes very interesting. She picks at it, unravelling threads, reflecting that that's how her life feels right now: someone is slowly unstitching the fabric of her life, watching as the whole thing loses its shape until it's nothing more than a tangle of threads that no one can fix.

Then she looks up. Maybe Spencer's handy with metaphorical sewing needles.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"What's up?" Spencer asks.

"Are you alone?" Emily is breathless. Either she just got back from swim training or she's just found something important.

"No." Spencer glances at Aria, who's staring at her bedsheet with an intense look of concentration. "I'm here with Aria."

There's silence on the other end.

"Em? Is everything okay?"

"No," Emily says, and Spencer can picture her shaking her head in agitation. "You need to get out of there."

"Why?" Spencer is already standing. She signals to Aria that she'll be back in a minute and then slips into the hall. "Em, I'm alone now. What's going on?"

"I found something. In Aria's room."

"Why were you in Aria's room?"

"Because I was suspicious," Emily confides. "What you said, how she's been acting… I needed to know. So I went to her house and pretended to pick some things up for her, stuff she'd want since she's in hospital…"

"But instead you were snooping." Spencer rubs the bridge of her nose. "What did you find out?"

"Aria…" Emily hesitates.

"What about her?"

"She's on the A-Team."

Spencer, captain of the debate team, is at a loss for words. She has to say something, she knows that. She has to seem shocked, or disappointed, or confused. But she can't think of anything.

The silence stretches on.

She remembers how she felt when she found out about Aria. She'd felt confused and disappointed then, hadn't she? She taps into those feelings, bringing them to the surface as if she's only just finding out now.

"What do you mean?" Spencer says, projecting just enough disbelief into her voice. "Why do you think that?"

"Because I'm standing in her room," Emily replies, "staring at a black hoodie, a burner phone, and the rest of the stuff that got stolen from Ali's grave."

Spencer looks through the hospital window, to where Aria is lying down with her eyes closed. She turns back, begins to walk down the hall. She doesn't want to have this conversation. She doesn't want to be here. She needs to stop the rest of the A-Team.

"What are you saying? Aria's a traitor?"

Emily doesn't answer. "Spence, there's something worse."

"Worse?" she echoes. "What could possibly be worse than this?"

"There's something else here. In her closet. It's… a coat. Spencer, Aria is Red Coat."

Spencer lets her phone fall from her hand, clattering to the ground as if she's dropped it in shock. Then she picks it back up, dusts off the screen, and says, "Em, I have to go."

"Spencer!" Emily's voice shoots up a couple of octaves. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find out the truth."

She hangs up before Emily can ask her any more difficult questions, and makes her way back up the hall. Once she and Aria talk about this, they can figure out a plan. There has to be a way to keep all of them safe and still take down the A-Team.

She walks into the room, the start of an apology spilling from her lips, and then she freezes.

The bed is empty.

Aria is gone.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"_I'm sorry," Emily says for the seventh time. "We planned this ages ago, before – you know. And we thought it would be better if you stayed out of it."_

"_Why?" Hanna bursts out, turning away from her half-eaten bowl of cereal. "I could have helped."_

"_And now I'm asking for your help." Emily's eyelashes flutter in that alluring, charming way she has. "Please, Hanna. Now that we know about Aria we can't just do nothing. We have to shut this operation down before it gets any more of out of hand. I can't do this alone."_

"_You're not alone," Hanna points out. "What about Spencer?"_

"_You know what it's been like. She hasn't been herself lately. I trust her completely, but… I'm not sure I can rely on her."_

"_I know what you mean. I love Spencer, but ever since she got out of Radley she's been all over the place. I'm not saying I'm as level-headed or as organised as she used to be, but I'm better than nothing, right?"_

"_You're better than a lot of things, Hanna," Emily says comfortingly. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the plan before."_

_Hanna's shoulders slump. "It's fine," she says. "I'm just being sensitive because of the whole Caleb issue. But the thing with Aria takes priority. So tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it."_

_Emily puts on what the others call her 'game face'. "Here's what we're going to do."_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

Spencer stares at her phone. Since she realised Aria was missing she's been on high alert, and this is exactly what she's been waiting for.

**Play by the rules or it's game over for Aria. –A**

Of course this had happened. They'd been found out, and someone was going to get hurt. Since it had been Aria who'd first broached the subject of going against the A-Team, it made some sort of sense for her to be the one who was kidnapped.

But it breaks Spencer's heart to think about it. After all they've been through, after these past couple of crazy days, she can't lose Aria. She just can't.

She puts her phone back in her pocket and looks out the window. This is the meeting place. This is where Emily will turn up, expecting to find –A and have Spencer as back-up. This is where Spencer will have to screw over one of her best friends.

She turns away from the window and looks around at the greenhouse. They'd met here before, long ago – back when Spencer was still on their side. Back when things had only just been getting started, before they'd had any idea what kind of hell they were walking into. It had ended badly, like so many of their plans.

And no matter which way this goes tonight, no matter who wins, Spencer knows that somebody is going to get hurt.

There's a sound at the far door just as Spencer's phone buzzes in her pocket. She slides further into the shadows and pulls it out.

In the past few years she's had many texts from –A. She's had to do unimaginable things, she's had to tell more lies than she cares to admit. But none of them have ever made her feel like this: weak, dizzy, like she's about to simultaneously be sick and pass out.

**Time to choose again, Spencer. Who's it gonna be?**

There's an address after it. She knows what that means. She's being given a choice: stay here and save Emily, or go and rescue Aria. Although the message doesn't explicitly threaten either of them, the meaning is clear. One of them is going to die.

And she has to choose which one.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

_Emily hesitates at the door. She glances again at the text she got from Hanna: **In position, ready when you are**. There's nothing holding her back. Nothing besides heart-pounding terror and unbearable doubt._

_She turns the handle and steps inside, cautiously, checking for signs of an ambush before she lets the door close softly behind her. The room is large, and it's dark. There are so many shadows, any one of which could be hiding her enemy. She takes a few steps forward, her eyes darting around the room._

_They fall on a shape towards the back. It's a shadow that's darker than the rest, and as she approaches she sees that it's a person. Someone tall, with their back to her. They're wearing a black hoodie, but it's not Mona; the body shape is all wrong. She is standing only a few yards away from an unknown member of the A-Team. The thought makes her feel equal parts terrified and exhilarated. If she can find out who this is, they're that much closer to taking apart the team that's been terrorising them for years._

_With bated breath she waits._

_The figure turns around._

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

_Come on, Hastings, think._

Spencer hates herself. She should be able to stop this, to fix it, to save everyone. There's no way she can choose between Emily and Aria. She would rather die herself than have either of them come to harm. But she can't be two places at once. She can't protect Emily and rescue Aria.

The footsteps alert her to the fact that she's no longer alone. She sneaks a look over her shoulder and recognises Emily's favorite pair of sneakers. So she's following the plan at least. Spencer waits until her friend is only a few steps away, and then she turns around.

She tilts her head down, making sure the hood is covering her face. That and the shadows make it almost impossible for Emily to recognise her. But still she feels her heart start pounding. If the shadows shift, if the moonlight hits her face…

She holds out her hand, acting like she expects Emily to hand over what information or evidence she has, even though she knows that's nothing.

Out of the corner of her eye, Spencer catches sight of Mona. She's sneaking up behind Emily, and in one of her hands is glittering shard of glass that reflects the pale moonlight. Spencer opens her mouth to speak, and that's when everything explodes.

"I can't do this anymore," Spencer says, pulling the hood back. She barely has time to register the shock and hurt in Emily's eyes before she feels someone tackling her. "Emily! Look out!"

As she hits the ground Spencer sees Emily dive out of the way of Mona's attack. Then she looks up and sees the person who's tackled her.

"Spencer?" Hanna says in surprise. "What -?"

"No time to explain." Spencer pushes Hanna off her and staggers to her feet. She reaches down and pulls Hanna up, ignoring the dirty looks she's giving her.

"Spencer, what's going on?" Hanna demands.

"Hanna," Spencer says in exasperation. "Emily is being attacked right now. Can explanations _wait_?"

Emily is rolling across the floor, aiming for the relative safety under one of the benches; Mona is nowhere to be seen. As Spencer moves forward to go to her friend, something hits her from behind and she goes stumbling forward. She whirls around in time to see Mona pushing Hanna away and dashing out the door.

"Damn it," Spencer says. She glances at the door, then at her friends. "Listen, I know you don't trust me, but you need to do what I tell you. I know where Aria is. You need to go to her and make sure she's okay. I can handle Mona."

"Spencer -" Emily begins, slowly getting to her feet.

"There's no _time_," Spencer says again, halfway to the door. "Just go get Aria."

She tosses the address over her shoulder, and then she dashes into the night.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"_Are you sure we can trust her?" Hanna asks again._

"_What choice do we have?" Emily shoots back, speeding through the stop sign. Her voice softens as she adds, "It's Spencer. We have to trust her."_

_They reach the address, which is a rundown little cottage-type house on the corner of two obscure streets. Hanna hardly waits for Emily to stop the car before she dives out and hits the path running. Emily follows as quickly as she can, and they burst through the door at the same time._

"_Aria!" Emily calls, and hears a muffled reply._

_She glances at Hanna and follows her through the house, tracking the sound of the noise until they get to a locked closet in one of the bedrooms._

"_Oh god," Emily says, catching on a second before Hanna. She looks wildly around, and to her relief sees the key lying on the floor a few feet away. With fumbling fingers she shoves it in the lock and rips open the door._

_Aria tumbles out, barely breathing in between sobs, and Hanna's hands fly out to catch her._

"_You're okay," Hanna says soothingly. "We've got you. We're here."_

_Through tear-filled eyes Aria looks up at them. "Where's Spencer?"_

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

The door slams closed and Spencer throws herself at it in desperation. She'd been chasing Mona for ten blocks now, and she's so tired she's starting to see spots. Now her enemy has locked herself inside this house, and there's nothing Spencer can do to stop her.

She turns around and runs her hand through her hair, letting out a frustrated sigh. Then she notices a tiny crack in the window to her right. If she hadn't been looking for it, it wouldn't have seemed important. But now it could be the difference between catching Mona and letting her get away again.

She gently rests her hands on the window frame, and starts to slide the window up. She goes for speed rather than silence, but even then it takes a long time. The window keeps jamming, and she eventually gives up when it's only half open. Her lean body fits easily through, and she gets inside quickly.

She barely has time to look around the room before something knocks her to the ground. All the breath stolen from her, she gazes up at the face of the girl who has been torturing her for months.

"It's over, Spencer," Mona says, pointing a gun at her.

For a moment she feels a flicker of fear, but it's not much. Spencer stares down the barrel of the gun, and she knows she's about to die. The thought doesn't scare her as much as it should, as much as it used to. She knows things can never be okay again. Even if she lives through this, she'll lose her friends. They'll never be able to trust her again. They might respect her, they might understand her choice, they might even act like they forgive her. But there will always be that doubt, that nagging feeling, that knowledge that when they needed her the most, Spencer took the side of her enemy. Despite her best intentions, her actions are undeniable.

She closes her eyes, preparing for death.

An image forms in her mind, blurry at first but becoming stronger. It's a memory of a night last year, when she and the girls had gathered together to study and ended up watching movies all night instead. She can see them all in her mind: Hanna, throwing popcorn at the movie when her favorite character dies; Emily, laughing as she gleefully spoils the ending of the chick flick; Aria, blearily opening her eyes and pretending she wasn't asleep.

Spencer sees them all. Her friends. The people who mean more to her than anything else in this life. The people she gave up her life for. She would do anything for them, including dying. And if that's what it takes, that's what she'll do. Maybe someday they'll think of her as a hero. Maybe someday they'll be able to forgive her.

She opens her eyes.

If she dies now, she'll never have a chance to make it up to them. She'll never be able to see Aria's smile, hear Emily's laugh, braid Hanna's hair. She'll never get to see them grow up, graduate, finally get their happy endings. She'll always be a traitor, someone who screwed up, got caught, and died for her sins. But if she lives through this, maybe she can start to make amends.

This revelation has only taken a couple of seconds. Just as fast she shoots out a leg, catching Mona behind the ankle and tripping her up. Mona has a second to look surprised before she hits the ground, and Spencer lunges for the gun. As she reaches for it Mona grabs her leg and drags her back. Spencer kicks out, catching Mona in the face, but it's only enough to deter her for the briefest moment. She grabs again, and this time Spencer turns to face her.

They roll over each other, trying to slow the other person down enough so that they can grab the gun, regain control. Mona's fist slams into Spencer's face, and she reels from the impact. That slight pause is all Mona needs. She crawls forward, grabs the gun, turns.

This time as Spencer stares at the gun, she knows she doesn't want to die. She has to make things right. Her eyes dart around the room, searching for a weapon. They're in the kitchen, which makes it easier. Under one of the chairs is an abandoned knife, too small and insignificant for anyone to have bothered to pick it up. It's her only chance.

As Mona's finger tightens on the trigger, Spencer throws herself at her, grabbing the knife on the way. They go tumbling backwards, and then they jolt to a stop. Spencer is on top of Mona, her hands wrapped around the knife that's embedded in the other girl's chest. Mona's hands reach up, seemingly without her control, and grab Spencer's. She clings to her for a moment, her eyes dark and threatening, and then the life flows out of her as the blood seeps into Spencer's clothes, her hands, her heart.

She scrambles backwards, still holding the knife.

It's over.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"Guys, it's Spencer," Hanna says, tossing her phone to Aria.

"SOS," she reads. "Em, there's an address. We have to hurry."

Aria rubs her wrist. It feels like someone dragged her by it, which they could well have done. After Spencer left the hospital room that afternoon, someone had snuck in and knocked her out again. She'd woken up locked in a closet in an unfamiliar house. She'd been there for hours, terrified, sure she was going to die. Then the door had flown open and she'd fallen out, into the arms of her friends. They'd filled her in on the way, and she'd shared what she knew; including about her part in this, of which they'd only known what they'd been able to piece together.

They'd been shocked, of course, but were too worried about Spencer and the whole situation to be able to fully deal with the news. She'd explained why she was part of the A-Team, how she'd been trying to bring it down for years, and how she'd wanted to tell them every day since it started. They hadn't forgiven her – it was far too soon for that – but maybe they're understood her, if only a little. And they knew that she loved them.

"Emily, can you go any faster?" Aria asks urgently.

"I'm already going twice the speed limit," Emily replies.

"Em, it's _Spencer_."

Glancing in the rear-view mirror at her, Emily puts her foot on the gas.

They're almost there.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

It won't come off.

There is blood on her hands, and no matter how hard she scrubs, she can't get rid of all of it. It's caught under her nails, smeared across her palms. She holds a sponge in one hand, caked with dirt; in her other hand is a knife, slightly dented and stained with the same blood that's spread across her hands.

She'd sat with her back against the wall for ten minutes, just staring at Mona's body. It occurred to her to put the knife down, to call an ambulance, the police, anyone. But she'd been unable to move, frozen with fear and horror at what she'd done.

She turns the tap on, waiting for the water to heat up. Then she rests the knife on the bathroom sink, shoves the sponge under the running water, and starts scrubbing her hands with it.

The hot water burns, and she bites her tongue to stop herself crying out. She keeps scrubbing, vigorously, furiously, desperately.

She can't believe it's come to this. And she knows that her troubles are far from over. Mona wasn't the head of the A-Team. Neither was Aria. That means whoever it is, they're still out there. The fight is far from over, although she feels like she's too tired to keep going.

It takes a minute for her to realise that the blood swirling in the sink isn't the same as that on her hands. She's scrubbed so hard that she's made herself bleed. Slowly she turns the tap off, drops the sponge, and then stands there in front of the sink letting her raw skin sting and the tears start to fall down her face.

There's a knock at the door. Before she has time to react, someone steps into the room.

"Spencer?"

She turns around, and her heart leaps as she sees Aria, seemingly unhurt. Hanna and Emily follow her, closing the door behind them.

"Spence, what happened?" Aria gasps, looking at her bleeding hands.

"It's nothing," Spencer says, putting them behind her back. "I'm fine."

Her tears tell the story she's too afraid to say in words. The past few weeks catch up with her, and she suddenly finds herself unable to stand. Her knees give way, but before she hits the ground she feels a ring of arms supporting her. They gently lower her to the ground, and then her friends surround her in a protective circle. For now, she is safe. For now, she is loved. For now, she can rest.

She hides her face on Aria's shoulder and lets the tears flow.

"You're going to be okay," Aria tells her.

For now, Spencer lets herself believe it.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

**Well, that's it. This has been immensely fun to write, and your feedback has meant a lot. So keep reading and reviewing, and keep an eye out for other stories I write. :)**


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